The best lesbian sex positions to try for maximum pleasure

If you're not familiar with lesbian sex positions (e.g. you aren't a woman who has sex with women), there can be a lot of misconceptions about it: how is it possible? Who does what? How does it work? 

This confusion comes from just how dependent people are on cisgender, heterosexual scripts. The script is full of rules, power dynamics and implications, but it usually goes this way: the cis man is in charge, sex is brief, penetration is what “counts,” and sex ends when the cis man orgasms.

What’s so special about lesbian sex is that it breaks all the rules about what sex looks like, what it feels like or what even counts as sex. While this is certainly liberating, it can be intimidating, too. How do you have sex that you’ve never been formally educated on and rejects the “rules” of sex so thoroughly?

Most importantly, communication, like with all sex, is non-negotiable when a woman has sex with a woman, and this is one of the most important and best sex tips there is. Talk to your partner before having sex about your likes, dislikes, hard boundaries and curiosities, whether it be wanting to introduce some of the best sex toys into your play or turning your freakiest sexual fantasies into reality. Work together to decide on consent practices, safe sex and barrier methods, and what sex, intimacy, and desire even mean to you, both as individuals and as sex partners. 

Once you've got all of that discussed, and have nailed down your favorite time of day to have sex, now comes the fun part: trying out these lesbian sex positions for yourselves! Though there are other options out there, and every couple is different with what they prefer, these are the positions we'd advise for achieving the most pleasure, in the most fun way possible.

Four of the best lesbian sex positions to try

1. Reclined 69

Giving head is great for all body types and ability levels. But rather than having one person on top and the other lying on their back, modify this position so that you’re both lying down and laying on your sides. You can have your heads resting on the others’ thighs. For added sensation, you can lightly squeeze your partner’s head between your legs to “lock” each other in place. 

If your partner has a vulva, kiss their inner thighs, tummy and clit to tease them. With your hands, grab their ass, or reach back and play with their nipples— remember it’s not just about genitals here! It’s about engaging with your partner and activating their erogenous zones. 

With your tongue, lick the labia, play with the opening of the vagina and work your way towards the clitoris. With your mouth and tongue, make circular, pulsing or windshield wiper motions on the clit. If your partner is into it, gently suck on their clit and bring it into your mouth.

Instead of focusing on making your partner cum, focus on what feels good. Moans, grinding and shaking are all cues of enjoyment (legs shaking after sex is totally normal, but you shouldn't assume and ignore check-ins and consent practices). Your goal here is relaxation, sensuality and pleasure. 

If your neck or jaw gets tired—and trust us, they will—use your hands instead, or a toy, like one of the best clit vibrators, to give yourself a break, or gently disengage to take a break or switch positions. And if you're wondering how long sex should last, the answer is as long as you both feel comfortable with!

2. Strap-on doggy

Using a strap-on dildo is really fun because it means that you can still have both hands free and get into basically any position you and your partner are in the mood for. If you decide to enter the vagina or anus, be very careful about the toys and lube you use. You should use toys with a flared base for butt play (this option from Lovehoney should work well for most people), and use a thicker, high-quality silicone lube or hybrid silicone-and-water-based lube, and lots of it. Be careful about your toy selection however—silicone lubricants can degrade your silicone toys!

If you’re planning on vaginal sex, don’t cross contaminate between the anus and vagina. Discuss barrier methods as well—do you want to use a condom on your toys? If so, make sure to use a lube compatible with your condoms. 

Now, for the good stuff! The receiver can get on all fours, doggy-style, with the giver on their knees behind them. Warm up the receiver with your hands and enter them very slowly, being careful not to thrust too suddenly until they’ve relaxed into position. Start thrusting slowly, and pick up speed. With your hands, reach around and touch the receiver's genitals and nipples, or gently pull their hair (always ask first). 

If this feels too intense on your knees or back, try switching positions. The receiver should stand, and rest their torso, arms and head down on the bed with a slight bend in the knee. The giver stands behind them and can rest their arms on the bed and kiss the receiver’s back.

3. Wedge sex

Using a wedge—a plush positioning pillow—for sex feels great, and it’s a solid option for people who may have chronic pain or reduced mobility. (The best accessible sex toys are great inclusive additions, as well.) Decide if you want to be on your tummy or back, and use a sex wedge and place it under your hips and low back. A wedge releases a lot of pressure and elevates your hips either for oral sex, penetration, or just general stimulation.

A wedge pillow also grants deeper access to the G-spot and may increase your chances of internal or blended orgasm. If you struggle to give oral sex without straining your body, a wedge is also a great option. Have your partner lay on the bed, table or coach with the wedge. Get on your knees and kneel in front of them— your eyes should be perfectly level to the goods. This is one of the best lesbian sex positions if you want to get really intimate.

4. Fisting

Fisting is a lesbian classic—but it can be very intense, so only try this if you feel confident in your ability to communicate with your partner every step of the way.

Fisting is exactly what it sounds like: inserting your fist into the vagina or anus and thrusting. The key to this position is starting very slowly, giving a ton of time for warm-up, and using lube.

Get your partner turned on and insert one finger at a time. Eventually, your partner will be stretched out enough to slip your whole hand up to the wrist. While inside the vagina or anus, the hand will naturally close into a fist. Do not start thrusting immediately—give your partner time to adjust and follow their lead with tempo, strength, and stimulation.

Fisting doesn’t happen every time—if it’s not working out, do not force your hand in deeper. This can cause internal tearing and hurt your partner.

When you’re ready to take your fist out, again, you must follow the receiver’s lead. Gently relax your hand and slowly begin easing yourself out. It’s normal to take a few minutes doing this, as you relax the hand and pull out bit by bit. This position isn’t for beginners, but once you have it down, it feels amazingly intense.

As always, when trying out new lesbian sex positions, bring patience and love into your sexual partnerships. Talk about how you can take care of each other before, during and after sex (our sexual aftercare guide has some great insights)—and don’t be afraid to laugh through the silliness and awkward spots!