Sex can be amazing especially when your partner makes you feel comfortable, sexy, and knows what you like—but equally, sex can be stressful or downright dull. We can find ourselves feeling stressed bout sex and even experiencing orgasm anxiety, and we know bad sex can impact our mental and physical health—but according to psychologists, practicing mindful sex may be the answer to really care-free and intimate lovemaking.
There have been several studies on the benefits of mindful sex, and how being present in the moment can help you build intimacy with your partner, and enjoy sex more.
Psychologist and professor Laurie Mintz Ph.D. wrote in an article for Psychology Today that ‘mind wandering’ can diminish sexual pleasures and orgasms. But if you practice mindfulness you can ward off thoughts and distractions.
"It’s not a coincidence that the term “mind-blowing” is associated with sex. Mind-blowing sex means that your mind is not working; only your body is reacting.”
Laurie Mintz Ph.D - Psychology Today
What is Mindful Sex?
In a nutshell, sex mindfulness means being present. You are in the moment with your partner, being intentional and aware. Noticing the sensations, feelings and not letting your mind get distracted. Between you and your partner is a safe space, where you are both focusing on each other and what you are doing.
Dr. Mintz says: “Mindful sex is when you’re totally and completely immersed in the physical sensations of your body. It doesn’t mean you’ll never have distracting thoughts. It means that you’re able to let these distracting thoughts go without getting stuck on them.”
Often with sex, there is a temptation to switch off, or it becomes so routine you can’t help your mind from wandering, but actually, if you try to focus on the sex itself, paying attention to your breathing and noticing all the movements and feelings—you may end up enjoying it more and being way more satisfied.
Mindfulness app Headspace also makes a case for practicing mindful sex, they describe it as almost incorporating meditation into the bedroom. The app says: “The mental aspect of sex is hugely important in developing and maintaining intimacy and keeping that spark of passion alight.”
Practicing mindfulness and meditation will help you reign your mind back in when it starts to drift and make you more aware and able to be in tune with the sensations and intimacy, rather than being on autopilot. You can then take it to the next level to achieve those multiple orgasms—with the best app-controlled vibrators.
Headspace goes on to explain that: “Regular meditation has also been shown to reduce the amount of cortisol in the brain, the hormone which we experience as stress”—and cortisol actually reduces the libido—“so if you lower cortisol you can actually increase libido which means you’ll want sex more.”
Though this does all sound perfect, Dr. Mintz does say it can take practice, but you will find when you start being more mindful in life and mastering the practice, you will find you are more mindful in sex, and vice versa.
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